We all have that little voice inside our heads that is constantly evaluating and criticizing our thoughts, actions, abilities and even how we look. This voice, known as the inner critic (or as I often refer to it as, “inner mean girl”) can often hold us back from so many opportunities. This inner voice feeds on self-doubt, fear, and negative self-beliefs— hindering our progress, and even causing us unnecessary stress (like we need MORE stress 😮💨).
However, over the years I’ve learned that we don’t need to let these inner thoughts and beliefs bully us.
Because we hold the power to learn to identify and even silence our inner critic— and in doing this, we can regain the control over our thoughts and actions, paving the way for all personal growth and success we wish to see in life.
If you have followed me on instagram (@therealashleyta), you have often heard me talk about focusing on our inner critic. Because when I first started my weight loss journey in January 2014 at 235 pounds— I paid NO MIND to this negative inner voice because I fully believed that once I lost weight— all of these negative self-talk conversations, and these negative self-beliefs would just ✨vanish✨— simply because, I believed I would be able to love a smaller version of myself much easier.
‼️SPOILER ALERT‼️
… no matter how much weight I lost, no matter how hard I pushed myself, no matter how hard I strived for physical change— there were STILL that voice in my head that was just telling me,
👉🏻“you’re not doing enough”,
👉🏻“you could do more”,
👉🏻”you’re never gonna succeed”,
👉🏻”you should just give up!”
All of these negative thoughts were still so persistent in my mind no matter what—
and because I kept ignoring them, they only got louder and louder and louder.
That is until I actually took the TIME and put for the energy to understand all of these this negative self-talk I was experiencing that I found it actually started to get better.
And I’m sure you’re probably thinking right now, “but Ashley, where do I even start to understand my negative self-talk? Where do I even begin to understand my inner critic?”
Well— that’s actually a great question! So let’s talk about ways to understand your inner critic 👇🏻
Our inner critic is usually a product of our upbringing, past experiences— and even a mix of ✨impossible✨ societal expectations. It is the voice that tells us we’re “not good enough”, “smart enough”, or even “capable enough”. Our inner mean girl THRIVES on self-criticism— and she LOVES to create a negative narrative that can invade almost every aspect of our life.
👉🏻 So recognizing the presence of our inner critic is the first step towards silencing her.
✨Identifying Your Inner Critic✨
1. Pay attention to negative self-talk: Notice the negative thoughts that arise in your mind when faced with a challenging situation or when attempting something new. These thoughts often stem from your inner critic.
2. Recognize patterns: Observe recurring themes in your self-criticism. Are there specific areas of your life where the inner critic is particularly active? Identifying these patterns can help you understand the root causes of your self-doubt.
3. Notice physical and emotional reactions: Your body and emotions can provide valuable clues about the presence of your inner critic. Pay attention to feelings of anxiety, tension, or fear that arise in certain situations. These reactions can indicate the influence of your inner critic.
1. Challenge negative thoughts: Once you have identified your inner critic, challenge its negative thoughts by questioning their validity. Ask yourself if there is evidence to support these thoughts or if they are simply based on fear and self-doubt.
2. Replace negative thoughts with positive affirmations: Counteract the negative self-talk by consciously replacing it with positive affirmations. Focus on your strengths, accomplishments, and past successes to build a more positive internal dialogue.
3. Practice self-compassion: Be kind and compassionate towards yourself. Treat yourself as you would treat a friend who is facing a similar situation. Remember that making mistakes and facing challenges are part of the learning process, and nobody is perfect.
4. Surround yourself with positive influences: Surrounding yourself with supportive and uplifting individuals can help counteract the influence of your inner critic. Seek out friends, mentors, or communities that inspire and encourage you to embrace your potential.
5. Take small steps outside your comfort zone: By gradually stepping outside your comfort zone and taking on new challenges, you can prove to yourself that your inner critic’s negative beliefs are unfounded. Each small success will weaken its hold on you.
Our inner critic can be a powerful force that can hold us back from achieving goals, feeling good about ourselves and even living a fulfilling life. However, by identifying and continually working to silence this inner mean girl, you CAN regain control over your thoughts and actions. Remember that silencing your inner critic is an ongoing process that requires patience, self-compassion, and perseverance. With time and practice, you can create a more positive and empowering inner dialogue that will propel you towards personal growth and success.
If you are noticing that your inner critic is LOUD, and you want to take some proactive steps to continue to work on addressing and silencing this voice, let’s put in the work TOGETHER!
I created a 5-day Mindset Makeover ✨self paced✨ course that will help you to understand, identify AND work on taking the necessary steps to silencing your negative inner dialogue.
The Mindset Makeover is for YOU if you find yourself:
👉🏻Constantly engaging in negative self-talk
👉🏻Dwelling on past failures/mistakes
👉🏻Searching for external validation
👉🏻Avoiding new experiences, opportunities, and challenged
👉🏻Fearful of being judged by others
👉🏻Striving for perfection over progress
👉🏻Letting your inner mean girl call the shots
… If any of this sounds like you, It’s TIME for a Mindset Makeover! 🧠💄
Inside the Mindset Makeover you can expect:
✨You will receive LIFETIME access (which means you can listen to this as MANY times as you need) to a private podcast channel where I will take you through a series of audio trainings on understanding, challenging and overcoming your inner critic and self limiting beliefs. You will also receive an interactive workbook (designed by me) to help you uncover, identify, and question your negative self-talk and limiting beliefs.✨
What Mindset Makeover clients are saying:
MINDSET MAKEOVER IS NOW JUST $35 $15 😍
YES GIRL! LIFETIME access to the audio training and a workbook that is FOREVER yours for $15!
👉🏻NO BRAINER! Especially if you find you do suffer from your inner critic calling the shots!
👇🏻 LET’S GROW, GIRL!
Click the link below and let’s start working on building you up and creating a more positive inner voice!
Like I said, I know all too well that our inner critic can be something we WANT to ignore and hope it gets better.. but unfortunately it doesn’t work that way. It takes patience, understanding and WORK! But YOU CAN DO IT! I know you can! And you don’t have to do it alone. One day at a time. You CAN regain the control and start noticing your life (and inner dialogue) significantly improving. But as you would continually show up for your fitness, or even your nutrition… this is work you HAVE to keep showing up to in order to FEEL the difference. So, don’t give up. Keep going. It makes all the difference in the world.
I promise! 💋
(Note: This blog post is for informational purposes only and should not replace professional advice. If you are struggling with self-esteem or mental health issues, please seek support from a qualified professional.)
