I started my weight loss journey on January 1st 2014 as part of a New Year’s resolution. Yup— I was that, “New Year, New me” person everyone makes fun of. But you know what? It honestly didn’t bother me that I got made fun of. And I’m so glad that I didn’t let it bother me, because that decision to commit to myself at the beginning of that New Year honestly changed my whole life.
After gaining over 80 pounds during my pregnancy with my first baby, I definitely was struggling postpartum. I didn’t recognize myself, I avoided the mirror at all costs, and my self-confidence and self-love was at an all time low. I breastfed my daughter for 8.5 months, and I swear, the breastfeeding cravings felt 10xs worse than the pregnancy cravings. So instead of losing weight, I was gaining weight. It was frustrating, defeating and I felt like I was trapped in a body I didn’t even recognize anymore.
Many times before I started in January 2014, I tried to lose weight. I would do really good for a week, and then just slowly start to give up and fall back into old, bad habits.
It was a repetitive cycle of starting and stopping that I couldn’t break free of. I even got to a place where I was just trying to convince myself that, “this was my new normal”, and that I should “just accept defeat”. It was heartbreaking to feel myself giving up on myself, but it felt easier to give up than to work at it.
Which got me thinking about my daughter. What kind of example was that showing her? That when things get hard, we don’t fight? We don’t push for what we want? We don’t figure out ways to succeed? We just… give up? No. And that was the drive I needed to push myself. To not give up on myself. If not for me, for her. Because she deserved that type of role model 🫶🏻
So come January 1st 2014, I got started. But as someone who had absolutely NO IDEA what she was doing, obviously I made a ton of mistakes (which is fine, because mistakes are the BEST teacher 👏🏻). But if you are starting a wellness journey, I don’t want you to make the same mistakes I did (because if you can avoid these mistakes, you should! 😉).
So here are my top three things I WOULDN’T do if I had to start my journey from day one:
- I wouldn’t set unrealistic goals: It is VERY important to have realistic and attainable goals when starting a weight loss journey (I learned this the hard way). Setting unrealistic goals can lead to frustration and disappointment, which may result in you giving up on the journey altogether. Instead 👉🏻 set smaller, more achievable goals that can be accomplished over time.
A mistake I made when it came to me setting unrealistic goals is doing what everyone else seemed to be doing, even if that meant it was above what I was ready for. What do I mean by that? Well, we have all probably striving for 10k steps a day is “ideal”. That’s the golden number. The sweet spot. But, for someone who honestly didn’t even hit 1K steps a day— 10k steps seemed monumental. It seemed, impossible. But because that is what I thought I needed to do to achieve success in my weight loss journey, that is what I pushed myself to do daily.
I often remember feeling so defeated trying to push myself for these 10k steps a day, but because that’s what everyone else was doing, that’s what I did. Which, for me, wasn’t realistic. I would have been way better off allowing myself to start slowly and build up to the 10k steps. I could have easily started with pushing for 3k-5k steps and then gradually increasing that goal. But I didn’t— but I wish I did. So that’s why my first tip is: don’t set goals for yourself because that’s what everyone else is doing. This isn’t “everyone else’s” journey— this is YOURS. So give yourself the permission to start small, and build up! 🤌🏼
The next thing is a big one, and I know it’s not easy to avoid this in the world we live in… but if I would have known then what I know now, I would have DEFINITELY avoided this. So number 2 is: I wouldn’t rely solely on fad diets or “quick fixes“. Yes— like I said, it’s hard to avoid that because it seems to be everywhere you look. But let me explain from the perspective of someone who has done the fad diets and even be a part of some “quick fixes”. Yes, of course It can be tempting to try these things that promise rapid weight loss. However, these approaches are often unsustainable and can be detrimental to your physical AND mental health in the long run. For example: after doing a handful of fad diets/supplements, I have noticed that my relationship with food has been a really challenging thing for me to fix. So what I would do instead today, instead of telling myself there are “good” and “bad” foods… or instead of cutting off a whole food group at once, I would instead just focus on making healthier, more balanced food choices and incorporating regular physical activity into my routine.
Now, this is not to say that a certain way of eating or a diet couldn’t work for you. I definitely believe that in order to know what works for you, you have to try it. But if it feels too much to heavily restrict yourself, don’t do it. I personally feel like because I allowed myself to get wrapped up in these fads and quick fixes, my mental health surrounding my journey has been something I’ve had to work like hell to fix. I have been working for the last few years to completely rewire my brain when it comes to the things I was taught or made to believe. So, if you need to hear this today: don’t strive for anything “quick“. There is no “finish line” to this journey. We are not out here for a “finish line” type of transformation. We are looking for long term and sustainability. So give yourself the TIME (and grace) to work for that.
Slow, and steady, my friend. Nothing “quick” belongs in our journey 💓
And last but not least, my third and final tip on what I wouldn’t do if I was starting my weight loss journey again. This is something that I rarely thought about at the beginning, that I wish I put more thought and love into.
But number 3 is: I wouldn’t neglect the importance of my mindset and self-care 🫶🏻
Yeah, believe me, when I first started my weight loss journey, my sole focus is— “I just want to lose this weight”. Nothing else matters. And I kept telling myself that, “once I lose this weight, I will just magically love myself”. A part of me truly believed this because I imagined I would immediately love a smaller version of myself, but SPOILER ALERT: that didn’t happen.
For MANY years I struggled with my inner self. The negative voice in my head always telling me I was still fat, or ugly, or “still not good enough“. And the longer I tried to suppress it, the worse it got. I even found at times in my journey I was actually believing these thoughts, and a few time I almost let this negative inner dialogue stop me from continuing to pursue my goals. I can also say that back when I started my journey, I didn’t see this suggestion a lot… which is why I tend to preach on this SO much. Because I know personally that at the start of a weight loss journey (especially when you have a lot of weight you want to lose), improving your mindset is NOT at the forefront of your thoughts. Trust me, I know that. But as someone who has, “been there and done that“, I am telling you, don’t neglect it. Don’t push it to the back burner. Don’t let yourself believe that it’s not important and that you will “magically” love yourself when you’re smaller. Because this inside work is JUST as important as the outside work we are doing.
With that also being said, make sure you are also allowing yourself time to implement some self-care. As a mom of three, I know this isn’t always easy. Especially when you already feel like you barely have enough time to squeeze in a workout. But look at this as an important, non-negotiable thing you are going to do for yourself because you DESERVE it, BECAUSE YOU DO! It doesn’t have to be anything big and monumental. Maybe you allow yourself 20-30 minutes to sit down and read a good book. Maybe you block off some time to take a nice bath. Maybe you go get your nails done! Maybe you just take a break to get outdoors and sit in the sunshine. Self-care looks like whatever you NEED.
And if you are not sure what you need, take a listen to this podcast episode I shared called, “The power of checking in with yourself“. This can help provide you with a better understanding on what you are REALLY needed when it comes to self-care.
But please remember— Weight loss is NOT just about physical changes; it also involves mindset and self-care. Neglecting the mental and emotional aspects of your journey can lead to discouragement and setbacks. So that’s why it’s so important, and I preach it on all my social media platforms— 🗣️Take time to work on developing a more positive mindset. Take the time to practice self-compassion when you make a mistake, or a setback occurs. And, my friend— take time to prioritize self-care activities that support your overall well-being and help you stay clear of burnout.
So there you have it, three things I wish I didn’t do when I started my weight loss journey. With that said, remember; it’s okay to make mistakes in your journey. You are allowed to try new things, experiment, remove things, and add things as you want. And you are NOT required to do anything you don’t feel is in YOUR best interest. As long as you aren’t hurting yourself or anyone else… you owe NO ONE any explanation on why you are doing what is best for YOU! 👑 Remember that queen! Just keep doing YOU!
I know it can feel defeating, and frustrating and even lonely sometimes in your journey… but please remember, you are never alone! If you ever want to chat, please feel free to come find me on Instagram: @therealashleyta and send me a DM 👇🏻
I would love to listen to you, and even send you some encouragement if that is what you are needing 🤗 Also feel free to come listen to my podcast channel, “The Power of You“. I share a new podcast episode every Thursday 🎙️✨
If you are interested in going a little deeper on shifting your mindset in your journey, feel free to check out my “Mindset Makeover” or “In my self-love era” courses I offer. You can find more about them in my, “work with me” section of my website, or click the link below to just get started.
Thank you so much for stopping by my blog today! I hope you were able to take away something useful to implement in your own journey 🤗 and if you did, feel free to leave a comment below 💜 Also don’t forget, I will be sharing a new blog post every Monday and Friday, so I hope to see you back here on Monday!
Until next time, take care of yourself from the inside out.
Have a good weekend! 💘
Love this so much!! Thank you for sharing. So many good words of wisdom and experience that help me a lot!
Darla, of course! I am more than happy to share, and I am grateful to hear this post was helpful! <3 Keep showing you for yourself. I am rooting for you!
XO, Ashley
Ashley, Thank you for the tips and for the insights. When I was reading the paragraph about you almost accepting this as the “new normal” you took the words right out of my brain. I am glad you didn’t for your sake and also bc even if I haven’t done anything but read or see your reels, your words often hit me later on and do help.
Karyn, I am so glad to hear my words resonate with you. I hope that makes you feel less alone in your feelings. And while I know it’s hard to feel that, I know that you too can overcome that feeling with time. I pray you continue to fight for yourself, and that you keep showing up for yourself! I am rooting for you girl! <3
XO, Ashley